Tag Archives: drains

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

Celebrate the Drains are Gone – 15 days post-Breast Cancer surgery

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“Take Care of Your Body means Have a Nice Day”

And on the 15th day, we all sighed relief.  This morning we went into the hospital and had the drains removed.  They used Hurri-Caine spray to numb the area.  The nurse told my wife to breath deeply and as she breathed out the nurse pulled the drains.  First the right and then the troublesome left.  They were 6 inches in length each inside her and resembled long flat extension cords with little holes that the blood entered.  OIn the left side we saw that they were clogged and thus why we had leakage.

My wife said it truly is a relief.  She already seems like a new woman.  The laughing and giggling have started again.  She is still feeling small soreness and discomfort, but when asked to gauge her pain from a 1-10 (high), she said it was a 1.  This afternoon we took the first big step.  I had her drive to our kid’s school and back to pick up our son. She did it like an old lday with some soreness, but it made me feel good that she was able to accomplish this on her own. 

Ironically we ran into her surgeon at Starbucks on our way to the school.  She was surprised to see us out of context and glad to hear we were driving again.  “Just stay off the highways” she said.  Those in our neighborhood including the Principal’s wife were surprised and happy to see my wife behind the wheel again.  In fact, we are feeling guilty about all the meas we are still getting from our wonderful class parents.  I found that the other family which lost their mother to cancer is also getting meals prepared by the other families in our school.  How wonderfully blessed we are to be in such a wonderful community.

One of the funny things we all do is pick up the quirks of our parents and pass them on.  As my father was a physician and worked for the Department of Public Health in San Francisco during the height of the AIDs epidemic he used to always write notes and messages to us in our lunch boxes, birthday cards, etc.  They never said, “Have a Nice Day” or “We Love you”, or anything like that.  They always said, “Take Care of Your body”.  These notes continued onto college and even when ending a phone call. It was like the show “Hill St. Blues where the captain would say, “Hey…Let’s Be careful Out There”.

Dring my dad’s final months, we lived with him and I’m fortunate my children really got to know their grandfather.  One of the things they picked up was his silly phrase.  In honor of him we continue that phrase every morning.  The other day as I kissed my daughter and she ran off to class, she yelled “Take care of your body Daddy!”  A teacher heard the exchange and laughed.  I could only shrug my shoulders and smile.  The phrase was still embarrassing, yet so very important to our family.

As i mentioned, our life is one long race over hurdles and so linear that we just focus on the next task.  The next task is to deal with the expanders and the discomfort that will come as the expander pushes on the chest muscle over the next 2-3 weeks.

Tomorrow she beigns to spread her wings.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

5 More Days with Drains – Post Breast Cancer Surgery

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“It ain’t over til it’s over”

Well today was our post -op visit with the plastic surgeon.  We did learn that an initial 150ccs were inserted and he put in another 100 today.  If chemo is needed he will likely be almost done with everything before then. 

It was the first time I’d seen him smile too.  We got to know him a little more as he fixed her dressings again and injected more fluid.  Luckily they gave us more bandages because the nurse did not apply the dressings appropriately and my wife was leaking vascular fluid.  When I got home, my wife asked me to reapply the gauze and bandages.  This was actually the toughest job yet.  We had just hit the weekend and hopefully I did it right or someone would have to take my wife back in this weekend.  It was frankly a little too close  for me.

We still were not ready to remove the drains and they recommended keeping them in another 5 days. Ugggh.  I saw the sadness in her eyes.  I know they are uncomfortable for her and when they tried to push the date to next Friday I knew we had to fight for a Wednesday appointment.  I guess the fighting isn’t done yet.  It ain’t over til its over I told her.  She apologized that I still had to drive her everywhere and I told her no apology was necessary.  How anyone does this alone is just brutal,  She needs to be able to get out and become mobile again and I know she is getting antsy.  The drains are definitely not pleasant to look at for sure and cannot be that comfortable.

We at least have our next three appointments settled for the plastic surgeon, the removal of the drains, and the initial meeting with our oncologist who is supposedly one of the best nationally so we feel very fortunate that she is able to take our case.

Other than the darned trains and discomfort she is feeling okay after today’s procedure.  i guess that is easy for me to say, but I’m sure going to be glad when the coming week is over.  I know she is thinking the same thing.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

Another Good Day – Our First Look after Breast Cancer

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“Walk, don’t run. Listen, don’t talk”

Day 9 after the surgery and we had our first visit with the breast surgeon and the head nurse.  Since it was only my wife who had received the pathology news over the phone, it was good for me to hear her voice and discussthe outcome.  She was very upbeat and happy to report that she believes they caught it early although she will want to go in again and remove more tissue as she believes that the tumor was a little too close to the skin for her comfort.

Although she said she’d leave it up to the oncologist, she says that there is a possibility that they might recommend some chemotherapy treatment.  That would start early October but we’d need to get a genetic test back first as well as have an initial meeting with the oncologist.  We set the appointment today for 3 weeks from now.  I took very diligent notes as we listened.

While we waited in the room for the surgeon to come in, my wife made a comment to me about her surgery that shocked me.  My wife mentioned a slight procedure that she thought was made that I had no idea about. I told her that I never was told what she thought happened was going to happen.  This was a major deal.  Well I was right, it did not happen.  My normally solid wife was totally wrong, but what scared me most was that she had been assuming something else was going to happen in surgery that didn’t happen.  I can’t go into detail, but it was like being told that you were going to have a simple bypass surgery but actually got a quadruple bypass surgery.  She was quite relieved to be wrong, but I was definitely seeing how her mind was not there.  One more reason why every cancer pateint should have someone go to appointments with them to take notes.  I reminded her that she needed to listen better and always ask for clarification when unsure.  We both have a lot on our minds these days and while small details might be forgotten, it is definitely not good to go into a surgery thinking the docotr is going to do one thing and find out that they did another.  Even the doctor looked a little puzzled when my wife asked about that part. 

Well the big relief was actually seeing the dressings taken off and replaced with clean ones.  We were both worried about being overwhelmed by a sight that we couldn’t handle and asked around if people thought we should look.  I didn’t want my wife to look by herself and get depressed.  I wanted to be there.  Well as we both covered our eyes as they changed the dressings, I was asking the doctor some questions.  When she moved, I caught a glimpse.  My wife saw me stop talking and noticed I was staring.

It wasn’t anywhere near what we thought it would be or look like. Again we were quite relieved and everyone had a good laugh.  Although there was some black and blue bruising, you can tell that a nice job was done.  My wife later said it was nice to see her”girls” were still there.  I guess the analog I had been giving my son of a flat tire was pretty accurate, but that the tire was completely deflated.  On the way home we had a good little tearful hug and I got a big thank you for being there.  It was a tough appointment made very easy.

The drains and her chest pain is starting to become bothersome.  I reminded her that she needed to rest.  Walk, don’t run.  The more rest she gets, the less fluid drains and the faster she will get those drains out.  They didn’t take the drains out today but they might take them out tomorrow.  That would be very nice but it is still a little hard to tell.  The appointment is first thing in the morning, but I’m guessing we’ll need to come back next week to have them removed.

Tomorrow – seeing the plastic surgeon again.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

Hitting the Wall – First Weekend of Caregiving

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“What’s a woman got to do to get a good pedicure?”

As part of the sandwich generation that has to take care of not only our spouses, but our children as well as our own parents, we are often being stretched beyond our limits.  Having a father who suffered a stroke and for the greater part of ten years survived with a severe case of memory loss and limited mobility as well as mother who had breast cancer, you’d think that this would be a task that I could be up to.

Well it finally caught up with me.  After taking my son to his soccer game on Saturday morning, I hit the wall with the sniffles, sore throat, cough and all over body aches.  My head was in a fog.  I had overdone it.  I needed rest or I wasn’t going to do anyone any good.  5 days of caring for a family of four both emotionally and physically was more than a drain.  I felt even a alight pang in my chest.  no time to have a heart attack!  Even with all the help with friends and family there is only so much you can do.

Make the lunches, pick up and drop off the kids from school, pour liquids for your spouse, wash her hair (if you really love her you’ll give her a pedicure), empty her drains, warm up pre-made dinners, do your own regular business work, do the laundry, do the dishes, go to school meetings, take the kids to gymnastics and soccer practices,…it is all too much to remember and then take care of yourself.

Is it worth it?  Getting sick? No.  Making sure your family feels normal and secure?  Yes.  I’d do it all over again if I had to, but wouldn’t wish this past week on anyone.  And I don’t even pretend to think I have it as bad as others. I am inspired and honor all those caregivers out there.   But this is a reminder for all those out there to take care of yourself as well and get lots of rest.

I slept in today (in another bed from my wife so as she wouldn’t get sick too) and it did me good.  I felt a 100% better although have a slight cough and scratchy throat (good enough to cheer our 49ers on to victory).

The good news is that the drains are emitting less fluids.  The first day we were at 70ccs and we are now down to around 45 ccs per day.  We’d like to get to 30 ccs. 5ccs is equal to about 1 teaspoon.  I gave her a second bath (kept the bandages/dressings dry though as we were told to keep them from getting too wet.  We also went for a walk around the block.  She said she felt okay except only for some tightness in the middle of her chest.  She is mostly down to taking Atavin and Keflix for now.  She has halved her dosage of Ibuprophen and is totally off of the Vicodin.

We had our family meeting tonight to confirm our arrangements for the week to make sure we are getting to and from school okay for the week and making sure the kids are mentally okay.  I’m going to need to check myself tomorrow.  Leaving her to herself worries me although I think she’ll be fine.  My mother will check with her during the day to make sure she is okay and a family friend ( who sometimes babysits) will be over to have dinner with us.

This week we have our first post-surgery appointments with the physicians to make sure all the healing is going well and maybe get our pathology report.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed it all comes back clear.

 If you want reading, check out an insert from today’s Parade Magazine Insert ( a bit of an advertisement, but relevant)