You make me want to lose myself in the mysterious distance between a man and a woman – U2 (A Man and a Woman)
The skies were dark and ominous this morning as I drove to work. As it started to sprinkle I noticed the trees along the sidewalks had started to bloom. The cherry blossoms along Japantown looked gorgeous and popped against the gray skies. They had a strong glow about them. Maybe they had been glowing for a couple weeks and I hadn’t noticed them until we got our first storm clouds of the year. It is amazing how such beauty shines through even more at the darkest of times.
These are curious times in the economy and everyone seems to be more on edge than normal. You might say there are dark clouds everywhere, and not just in the sky. I even overheard a homeless man here in San Francisco today tell a lady that he was better off than her because he didn’t have a mortgage or rent to pay. So true that we should get heckled by homeless people now. My own company has had layoffs and no matter who you are these days, people are worried abour their jobs. I hear it, see it and feel it. Even though I had an outstanding year there was still a nervousness going over my weekly call. In reality, I had nothing to worry about, but in these times you never know (and one of my colleagues was actually let go today).
Despite all of this I still manage to slow down and smell the roses. Or in this case I was looking for the analogy to my drive to work. Was I capable of finding the cherry blossoms in my life against the dark sky? It made me think about some of the stories I’ve read recently as well as my own. The story of Chad Moutray and his daughter who now must move on with each other and their memories of their wife and mother. They are each other’s cherry blossoms. Last year despite all of the surgeries and doctor’s appointments, my wife’s beauty just showed brighter than ever to me. I don’t think it has shone brighter and it has been there all the time. We’ve known each otherfor over half our lives, but sometimes the dust gathers like it does on a lightbulb and you need to wipe it off and you suddenly realize that 60-watt light bulb is really 100 watts. I think in hard times like this the dust comes flying off and that dark room is radiated by the beauty that exists.
My wife had her oncology appointment and monthly shot today. It was a little painful this time she relayed to me. The O/S pellet they shoot in to here is something she’ll have to get used to and hopefully the side effects will lessen. The wait is still what kills her as they were running 2 hours late. Good thing I gave her a bunch of magazines for the waiting room. There were no reports on her ability to metabolize Tamoxifen yet, but the side effects seem to indicate that she is okay with Tamoixfen and her cholesterol seems to be declining. My wife loves to go into details running through her lab reports and every last minute of conversation she had with her nurses. I laugh at her that it is more painful to me to hear her detailed reenactments of the day than to get a needle poked into me. Listening to her get a shot is almost as bad for a guy like me who is squeamish about needles.
The day before, she had her meeting with her plastic surgeon to go over any adjustments she is going to need in March. It was one of the appointments I missed because I was traveling. Of course she forgot to mention the ONE thing I wanted her to speak about and we laughed. Same old wife…she doesn’t listen to her husband. Maybe that is what keeps her young!
In the end, the day came out beautiful. I was able to get home and see my kids for the first time in a few days. Additionally despite the very mundane conversation I had a chance to spend some time with my cherry blossom in my life.